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| How To Have Great Relationships by KhaazRa MaaRanu |
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Step 1: Relationships Are a Part of Life Remember that we are all in relationships. Be it family, career or dating, in some way shape of form we are all in a relationship. Overstanding this can help keep in mind that whichever type of relationship we are in, they will all take us somewhere and this is why it is an advantage to know how to win friends and influence people. Everyone that we meet on our journey, no matter who they are will leave some type of mark on our lives and we in turn will leave one on theirs. If you would really like to become the architect of your life, you have to make certain of the type of people you bring into your life. Step 2: Getting Clear on What You Want Out of a Relationship When I ask people "What exactly are you looking for in a relationship?" I get the "I don't know" or "a man that is established financially" or from men, "a woman that can do the basics and not give me drama". Not knowing exactly what you want out of a relationship is like ordering a pizza and not telling the waitress what you'd like on it, and if that is the case chances are you are going to be disappointed. Listen, if you were going to make one decision today about relationships, yet that one decision was to become totally certain about what type of outcome or essence you wanted from your future or current relationships, you think it would enhance them? You can bank on it! Step 3: First Date Syndrome Finally, there is a disorder that the drug companies have not made an inhaler or pill for, yet knowing them, it may be coming soon. This disorder is called First date syndrome and I believe to some extent we have all suffered or will suffer from it at some point. An example is the first date and you really want this person to take away an inspiring perception of you, so you put your best foot forward and keep it out there. What is the result? A tremendously stupendous impression is left on the individual or individuals. Now you are in trouble, why? Because the person you were that night or who you portrayed is not an accurate representation of who you are and the more comfortable you become with that person/persons the less you feel like you have to put on a show, then BAM! You are out of gas at the toll booth because this oh so dapper character is just that, a character and not an authentic picture of your real self. In short, be 100% of yourself all of the time and you will disappoint and be disappointed far less. It aint worth flossin... Step 4: Filling the Void With Air Now it is time we tie this in to self-improvement more than anything else and you will see why. When people are not telling me that they do not know what it is that they are looking for the next great oops I hear about is how they are in a relationship but are unhappy. What I have not only seen happen, yet experienced first hand is that a large percent of the time these people are upset because they go into a relationship looking for the other person to fill some need for them. Unfortunately, lots of children are born this way as well. The problem is that there are certain aspects that no other person can fill for you. An example is if you want to be in a relationship because you are looking to be loved, then the question should be, is it more self-love that I need? No matter how many people you are in a relationship with or how much they may be able to love you they can never fill the integral self-love that has to be nurtured by the individual. No movement, material possessions or lots of sex can fill this void. You are simply filling the void with air. Step 5: The 50/50 Trap Another snare that many of us find our self's having to get out of is what we call the 50/50 trap. We tend to make things complicated, yet we are driven out of very uncomplicated motives. You want to be more happy or want to avoid being sad or feeling pain. Honestly, if you were to group all the emotions you can name, chances are they would fall into one of two groups, happy or sad. With that said, you get all excited and electric about getting into a relationship, yet with this deep seeded fear that one day you may get your heart broken. It is like an approach-avoidance type. You want all the benefits of a relationship, but you are not willing to commit 100% because of the impending danger. We hear all time, " I will meet you half way." This becomes our motto. My suggestion to you: stop going half way and try to give it your best, you will see a definite change in your relationship. If you want to comment or reply to this, please click here to add comments . Many of us are anxious to change our circumstances, yet are unwilling to improve ourselves. We therefore remain stagnant. KhaazRa M. |
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